Remembering What Once Was

I remember the songs we listened to in the car on our first date.
I remember when you held my had for the first time and the first time you made me truly smile.
I remember the gifts you brought me when I was having a bad day.
I remember staying up till 2 or 3 in the morning listening to your soothing voice talk to me through the telephone about anything and everything.
I remember you vividly.

I remember the girl I used to be, even more shy than I am now.
I remember feeling so alone, like nobody could ever get in and help me out.

I remember it was around 4am, Saturday December 23rd, 2006.
I remember it felt like we were in the middle of nowhere.
I remember the long drive to that strange new place I'd soon call home.
I remember not having any food there yet, so breakfast that day was Krispy Kreme doughnuts and a gallon of OJ to share.
I remember how much I missed Arizona and its snowless winters.
I remember my friends I left behind.
I remember starting over.

I remember when school was counting, napping, snacks, recess, and art.
I remember my first grade teachers last name.
I remember all the grown ups telling me I could be anything when I grew up.

I remember wondering why I was getting a text late at night from someone on student council who I didn't know anymore.
I remember when Rhonda came on the announcements the next morning saying something terrible has happened and our teachers have something to read to us explaining it.
I remember how they all said they missed him even though they didn't really know him.
I remember thinking he was one of the happy kids who never had those thoughts,
although I didn't really know him either.
I remember the beautiful dresses and neat suits everyone wore.
I remember that awful day.
Oh how I wish I hadn't come to school that day.

I remember braces, sadly.
I remember how smooth, yet slimy, they felt when I got them off.
I remember the first time I went to get them tightened; I got power chains.
I remember how much I hated getting power chains.
At lest now I have straight teeth,
as long as I wear my retainer at night.

I remember when my sister used to tell me I suck and that she hates me on a daily basis.
I remember crying softly to myself every night hoping mommy wouldn't hear so when I told her I was fine the next day she'd believe me regardless of my puffy eyes.
But I remember when she was one one who cried from almost losing her little girl,
again.

I may not seem like i'm always listening, but i'll remember.