What I Don't Tell People

When I first learned no one could ever love me more than me,
A world of happiness I didn't know existed was discovered.
We must remember to keep ourselves beautiful so someone can have us someday,
Because that's the most important thing, right?
To cake on the makeup, suck in, and put on the prettiest smile
For people who aren't watching anyone but themselves.
We all end up with our heads between our knees
Curled up in skin we were taught to hate
By people who nurse us from the womb with our own flaws.
We all want to stand out and be the difference,
But not me.
I don't want to stand out.
What I want is to not be afraid anymore.
I want to find me
Because all those years ago when I was worried about what people thought of me
And all I could see were those flaws,
I lost me.
I lost the ability to see worth in anything I did.
I lost track of who really meant anything to me.
I lost the me that loves me.

I am someone you all see but don't know. I have life changing opportunities but I haven't taken any because I am scared of rejection. I am the person who can't find flaw in anything but myself. I am the story that nobody can remember. I am always sorry and that will never change.