Secrets Unravled

Everyone is so worried about revealing pen names and all the secrets that come with including me because I won't want to post on here anymore and none of it will be the same, all of our secrets will no longer be secrets they'll just be more words on our blog or hidden away in our journals for only Nelson to see. If only we could have hidden behind them in class too maybe I would have shared more. I guess it's time to start telling the truth but I don't think anyone really cares if Clarissa McCall does and I don't exactly know how to start this or what I am going to say but here goes nothing.

I am known as the quiet awkward girl who's name you don't even know with or without the pen names,
I am a native Texan, I think cold is better than hot, I usually have too much caffeine in me for one body, I am one of  8 in my family, I pierced my own ears cause my mom told me no, I procrastinate everything including this, I live in fear of the man in the moon, I'm a half assed artist, I moved here December 23 2006, I've buried my heart, I hate when people touch my elbows, I'm more worried about my future than I am about boys, clothes, or social media, I'm Aquarius, rejection is my biggest fear, I have dark hair pale skin and blue eyes, I don't have a favorite anything, I am the girl that Nelson made share at the last journal jam, I'm vegetarian and hate when people give me crap about it, I've played many sports but quit them all when I moved here, and I hide behind a 2"x5" screen. 

I've told you all of this and still none of you know who I am. 
I'll see you all on Monday and maybe some of you will have read this and maybe not.
But everyone will have been revealed
 and class will be different 

I didn't plan to be another sad blogger it all just kinda happened
I thought a new name meant a new me
but
I guess whether I'm me or Clarissa McCall I think the same

I have many different names
Past friends have called me chibs and wheelz

Teachers call me Carsens little sister

Spell check calls me a spelling error
Anyone reading my name calls me the wrong thing
In ninth grade I was called best eyes 
Instagram use to call me stupidpeasantchildren but I grew out of that and now its just kalicdavis

The beans and brews crew call me the carmel cielo and dirty chi

I want to be called a tattoo artist some day

When I was little my family called me calliebear
Last year he called me his girl
and I call myself Kali

 But despite all that I've been called, my birth certificate reads
 Callen Clarissa Davis

 but I am still Clarissa McCall.

Songs my mom doesn't want me listening to

Pretty much everything and anything on my phone. It's almost impossible to ride in the car with you mom.



This topic is one of my least favorite. It is too broad and yet I have nothing to say about it. I'm sorry to anyone who wasted their time.

I Am A Lost Boy

I am a lost boy at heart. Lost in Neverland and I never want to come back. My heart has plans for me here in this place I now call home. It tells me about its love for pixy dust and the unimaginble. Although all my heart really wants is to find its Wendy Darling, someone to call my own. But we all know the story and I am no Peter Pan.

-Forever a lost boy 

Expose

Do not fully expose yourself. But don't keep yourself hidden from the beautiful adventures life has in store for you. Expose others for who they really are not all this fake shit we are all hiding behind and see them clearly just like you did ten years ago when we were all the real us. We need to break out of theese shells we came with and allow ourselves to be subjected to changed and forget about the pain that may or may not come with. Just thinking of the deconstrucion of our world worrys me and I worry that I have not yet finished anything, I worry that I have worn out the phrase "I'm sorry" till it no longer has a meaning when it comes to apologies. Expose yourself along with all your worries and fix them because soon you might be out of time or too late. Maybe it's already too late but don't let that possiblity keep you from anything because maybe it's not.