I couldn't pick one. Sorry Nelson
Sunday, February 7, 2016
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
One more time
This is my long term project, my second wife's diary, my vol.II, and my way to keep busy. Its hard for me to start over my journal. Last semester I put a lot of work into my journal because I had no other homework in any class and idk if it was all for the better, but it meant a lot to me and this time I feel like Ive set my bar too high, I'm leaving so I probably won't finish it, and I'm not going to write or create like an "advanced" student, which is why I hate art and hate that people know I do art stuff, because then they expect me to do things when really I can't. I want to try and put more words than art crap in it this time around but I'm afraid I'm off to a bad start and I can speak easier through my "art". So here we go again.
CWI
CWII
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
I never said goodbye
I procrastinated saying goodbye to Paris last semester to the point where I never even got the chance to because I'm already back. Ive never been good at goodbye's or hello's as cliche as it sounds. so here's me, Callen Clarissa Davis, two days short of 18 years and 31 days of high school left, yet not a single clue who I am, other than a procrastinator, or where I am going. No I'm not good at writing poetry or sharing in front of people and I am even worse at blogging, yet I'm here back in Paris for round two, so sorry if that pisses you off cause your best friend didn't make it in the class and they're an "amazing" writer, but you're stuck with me for 16 more class periods, 21.37 more hours, 1,282 more minutes, 7 more blog posts, and maybe if I get the courage to you'll have to sit through a journal jam or two and listen to my words just for a couple of minutes. This is my goodbye disguised as a hello
Sunday, January 17, 2016
Blowing Smoke
Inhale;
Take it in even without knowing.
Take it in and make it your own
Learning the ways of others
Picking up new habits like a little kid picking up pinata candy.
But what you don't know is that its killing you inside.
Getting stuck in your lungs and killing the butterflies that grow in your stomach before they even have time to hatch.
You are sick.
Sick beyond a sore throat and runny nose.
Sick inside.
Poisoned from the rumors and thoughts of those around you floating in the air like second hand smoke.
You wont find this in the book of diseases
No doctor will be able to diagnose you.
All that's left is the smoke you whispered that night and your blind fear.
Exhale and it's over.
Exhale and you're gone.
Exhale and it wasn't even your fault.
Exhale...it's too late.
Take it in even without knowing.
Take it in and make it your own
Learning the ways of others
Picking up new habits like a little kid picking up pinata candy.
But what you don't know is that its killing you inside.
Getting stuck in your lungs and killing the butterflies that grow in your stomach before they even have time to hatch.
You are sick.
Sick beyond a sore throat and runny nose.
Sick inside.
Poisoned from the rumors and thoughts of those around you floating in the air like second hand smoke.
You wont find this in the book of diseases
No doctor will be able to diagnose you.
All that's left is the smoke you whispered that night and your blind fear.
Exhale and it's over.
Exhale and you're gone.
Exhale and it wasn't even your fault.
Exhale...it's too late.
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Remembering what once was (again)
I remember already writing an I remember post earlier in the semester but I changed it a little this time so here we go again
I remember the first time I tried coffee.
I remember how I hated the taste of it.
Now I drink it every day. Ironic?
I remember the songs we listened to in the car on our first date.
I remember when you held my had for the first time and the first time you made me truly smile.
I remember the gifts you brought me when I was having a bad day. I still have them and I hate that.
I remember staying up till 2 or 3 in the morning listening to your soothing voice talk to me through the phone about anything and everything.
I remember the day I fucked it all up. And how I regret the choice I made still to this day.
I remember you vividly.
I remember the girl I used to be, even more shy than I am now.
I remember feeling so alone, like nobody could ever get in and help me out.
I remember it was around 4am, Saturday December 23rd, 2006 when we arrived.
I remember it felt like we were in the middle of nowhere.
I remember the long drive to that strange new place I'd soon call home.
I remember not having any food there yet, so breakfast that morning was Krispy Kreme doughnuts and a gallon of OJ to share.
I remember how much I missed Arizona and its snowless winters.
I remember my friends I left behind.
I remember starting over.
I remember the day I stopped believing in Santa Clause.
I remember it wasn't my parents who told me but my best friend.
I remember how devastated I was.
I remember addressing my Christmas list to mom instead of Santa that year.
I remember that year as the year Christmas lost it's magic.
I remember when I used to run to my dad when he got home from work trips and give him a big hug.
I remember how happy I was when he would be home for a whole day.
Not anymore.
Now I remember him getting home once I've already fallen asleep.
and I remember waking up to find him already gone.
He travels by the moon and never stays in one state for more than a couple days at a time.
And I remember I live in fear of the moon.
I remember when school was counting to ten, taking long naps, yummy snacks, and recess.
I remember my first grade teachers last name.
I remember all the grown ups telling me I could be anything when I grew up.
I remember wanting to be a doctor. That dream died quick.
I remember wondering why I was getting a text late at night from someone on student council who I didn't know anymore.
I remember when Rhonda came on the announcements the next morning saying something terrible has happened and our teachers have something to read explaining it.
I remember how they all said they missed him even though they didn't really know him.
I remember thinking he was one of the happy kids who never had those thoughts,
although I didn't really know him either.
I remember the beautiful dresses and neat suits everyone wore.
I remember that awful day.
I remember I wished I hadn't come to school that day.
I remember waking up and falling asleep.
and I remember everything in between.
I remember braces, sadly.
I remember how smooth, yet slimy they felt when I got them off.
I remember the first time I went to get them tightened; I got power chains.
I remember how much I hated getting power chains.
At lest now I have straight teeth,
as long as I wear my retainer at night.
I remember the first movie I cried in.
I remember where all the scars on my body are from.
I remember stapling my finger.
I remember the day I decided to be vegetarian and why.
I remember my first phone, the sliding kind.
I remember piercing my own ears.
I remember crying the night before the first day of high school.
I remember the awful feeling I had inside when taking my first pregnancy test.
I remember when Greggory Parr asked me out in the 9th grade right before we got stoned.
I remember the awful hair cut I gave myself when I was 5.
I remember the trees that smelt like froot loops in Arizona.
I remember waking up next to him new years day.
I remember when people started caring what others thought of them.
I remember playing volleyball, soccer, softball, tennis, gymnastics and giving it all up for art.
I remember..
I remember...
I remember....
I remember.....
I remember when my sister used to tell me I suck and that she hates me on a daily basis.
I remember crying softly to myself every night hoping mommy wouldn't hear so when I told her I was alright the next day she'd believe me regardless of my puffy eyes.
But I remember when she was one one who cried from almost losing her little girl.
I may not seem like I'm always listening, but I will remember.
I remember the first time I tried coffee.
I remember how I hated the taste of it.
Now I drink it every day. Ironic?
I remember the songs we listened to in the car on our first date.
I remember when you held my had for the first time and the first time you made me truly smile.
I remember the gifts you brought me when I was having a bad day. I still have them and I hate that.
I remember staying up till 2 or 3 in the morning listening to your soothing voice talk to me through the phone about anything and everything.
I remember the day I fucked it all up. And how I regret the choice I made still to this day.
I remember you vividly.
I remember the girl I used to be, even more shy than I am now.
I remember feeling so alone, like nobody could ever get in and help me out.
I remember it was around 4am, Saturday December 23rd, 2006 when we arrived.
I remember it felt like we were in the middle of nowhere.
I remember the long drive to that strange new place I'd soon call home.
I remember not having any food there yet, so breakfast that morning was Krispy Kreme doughnuts and a gallon of OJ to share.
I remember how much I missed Arizona and its snowless winters.
I remember my friends I left behind.
I remember starting over.
I remember the day I stopped believing in Santa Clause.
I remember it wasn't my parents who told me but my best friend.
I remember how devastated I was.
I remember addressing my Christmas list to mom instead of Santa that year.
I remember that year as the year Christmas lost it's magic.
I remember when I used to run to my dad when he got home from work trips and give him a big hug.
I remember how happy I was when he would be home for a whole day.
Not anymore.
Now I remember him getting home once I've already fallen asleep.
and I remember waking up to find him already gone.
He travels by the moon and never stays in one state for more than a couple days at a time.
And I remember I live in fear of the moon.
I remember when school was counting to ten, taking long naps, yummy snacks, and recess.
I remember my first grade teachers last name.
I remember all the grown ups telling me I could be anything when I grew up.
I remember wanting to be a doctor. That dream died quick.
I remember wondering why I was getting a text late at night from someone on student council who I didn't know anymore.
I remember when Rhonda came on the announcements the next morning saying something terrible has happened and our teachers have something to read explaining it.
I remember how they all said they missed him even though they didn't really know him.
I remember thinking he was one of the happy kids who never had those thoughts,
although I didn't really know him either.
I remember the beautiful dresses and neat suits everyone wore.
I remember that awful day.
I remember I wished I hadn't come to school that day.
I remember waking up and falling asleep.
and I remember everything in between.
I remember braces, sadly.
I remember how smooth, yet slimy they felt when I got them off.
I remember the first time I went to get them tightened; I got power chains.
I remember how much I hated getting power chains.
At lest now I have straight teeth,
as long as I wear my retainer at night.
I remember the first movie I cried in.
I remember where all the scars on my body are from.
I remember stapling my finger.
I remember the day I decided to be vegetarian and why.
I remember my first phone, the sliding kind.
I remember piercing my own ears.
I remember crying the night before the first day of high school.
I remember the awful feeling I had inside when taking my first pregnancy test.
I remember when Greggory Parr asked me out in the 9th grade right before we got stoned.
I remember the awful hair cut I gave myself when I was 5.
I remember the trees that smelt like froot loops in Arizona.
I remember waking up next to him new years day.
I remember when people started caring what others thought of them.
I remember playing volleyball, soccer, softball, tennis, gymnastics and giving it all up for art.
I remember..
I remember...
I remember....
I remember.....
I remember when my sister used to tell me I suck and that she hates me on a daily basis.
I remember crying softly to myself every night hoping mommy wouldn't hear so when I told her I was alright the next day she'd believe me regardless of my puffy eyes.
But I remember when she was one one who cried from almost losing her little girl.
I may not seem like I'm always listening, but I will remember.
Sunday, December 13, 2015
This one is for you
I took all of Last of The Mohicans blog posts and took parts of them to create this. I know the assignment was just to pick one but I couldn't so I picked them all. Sorry if this isn't good enough or long enough I ran out of time.
I found a letter on the floor. It wasn't for me but I read it anyway
And it said
"Remember. Remember that you need a break every now
and then to figure things out and just stare at the flame face to face"
I need to figure out who I really am because the past 18
years of my hard earned true grit life
My mom has told me I can be whoever I want to be
but the police call it identity theft
But Nelson is saying its thinking creatively
And why is that?
Sorry this post doesn't do your blog any justice. There's just so much I can say but so little I'm willing to let myself say. I wish we would have all just revealed at the beginning like you because your blog got more real after that. I loved how your posts would always be different. You are very divergent Grant.
P.s. I love how you aren't scared to get up in front of the class and say whatever's on your mind.
I wish I was more like you in that way
P.p.s. You are not Luke. And that is not a bad thing.
Sorry this post doesn't do your blog any justice. There's just so much I can say but so little I'm willing to let myself say. I wish we would have all just revealed at the beginning like you because your blog got more real after that. I loved how your posts would always be different. You are very divergent Grant.
P.s. I love how you aren't scared to get up in front of the class and say whatever's on your mind.
I wish I was more like you in that way
P.p.s. You are not Luke. And that is not a bad thing.
Friday, December 4, 2015
The words in between
Released in death
The creation of the problem was not filed with the police as of Tuesday.
Every choice includes thousands of views that allow bones to sin.
Come and suffer problems to change choices and save solutions.
Police departments seeks new out.
A black fire created a new body.
The makers put the medication on medications to be treated.
Death surfaced.
Everyone is saying it emerged for time.
3Killed: The man of killing unleashed the rampage of murder.
Many who stand with force need tougher pressure.
Secrets take action.
All 17-year olds have transparent days.
His trust had eroded.
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